


Secrets and Guilt

by Monkan



Series: Secrets, Ties and Guilt [2]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, F/M, Family Drama, Forbidden Love, Gen, Graduation, Guilt, Half-Sibling Incest, Loki Feels, Lost Past, Love, M/M, Running from Reality, Secrets, Sequel, Sexual Content, Straight Sex, Suicide Attempt, Thor Feels, Ties, Unrequited Love, dubcon, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:06:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monkan/pseuds/Monkan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three months has gone by since Loki woke up from his coma without a single memory of his violent past or his relationship with Thor. Loki struggles with a life he knows nothing about, and feels like a stranger in this world that he supposedly belongs in. At the same time, Thor is struggling with his feelings for his half-brother which won't go away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Secrets and Guilt**  
By Monkan  
Beta Read by Suiside

Pairings: Thor/Loki, Thor/OFC  
Warnings: Slash, Incest, more will come.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything in this story. Maybe the plot but none of the characters, they rightfully belong to Marvel and/or the mythology.

A/N: Here is the beginning of the much awaited sequel to “Secrets and Ties”. I hope you enjoy it as much as the first installment.

Summary: Three months has gone by since Loki woke up from his coma without a single memory of his violent past or his relationship with Thor. Loki struggles with a life he knows nothing about, and feels like a stranger in this world that he supposedly belongs in. At the same time, Thor is struggling with his feelings for his half-brother which won't go away.

~ Chapter 1 ~

School had started again after the traumatic first term, but not everything was like it used to be. Thor still had his friends and he was still the light of the school, which had been missed because of everything that had happened in his family.

However, the biggest difference was that he now had a younger brother, Loki Laufeyson. His father's unknown child with a mistress, Thor's real half-brother who he never knew about. Of course, no one outside the family knew about this fact and that was the way that they were going to keep it.

To everyone else, Loki had just been adopted by Thor's family after he had been attacked by his “father” Laufey who had escaped from prison just a few days earlier. The assault had left Loki in a coma until he woke up without a memory. So to the public, the Odinson's had taken in an unfortunate soul.

Things wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for one little detail.

Loki and Thor had been lovers before they learned the truth. And for Loki who didn't remember anything about their relationship it had been a blessing.

But for Thor it had been torture.

 

* * *

 

Loki sat at the kitchen table with two sandwiches in front of him. He chewed carefully as he read a book about criminology. It was another morning in a house he didn't really know.

When he woke up in the hospital room, he had had no idea who he was or where he belonged. Then, a man his age had came in and presented himself as his brother. It should have been fine from there because he lived in a fine big house, had a loving mother, a caring father and a reliable brother. They took him in when he had nowhere else to go. So why did he feel so out of place?

According to his school record, he already held two degrees and he had no idea why he would chose criminology. Absolutely no clue. He knew he had been in an accident and that his family history was somewhat not good but would that really explain why he was reading criminology as his third PhD?

Then again, there was a lot of things that didn't make sense at the moment.

As lovely as his adoptive mother was, he could see that she were uncomfortable around him for some reason, his adoptive father barely talked to him and where Thor was concerned, there was something he couldn't understand about the other.

He sometimes caught looks that were so filled with pain that he felt something major must have happened between them but he couldn't remember.

Just at that moment Thor walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. When the blond man saw him there were a slight hesitation before he walked over to the fridge and took out the milk.

Loki watched his brother carefully as the other took a swing right from the package. “Long night?” he asked with a slight hint in his voice.

“Yeah.” Thor agreed in a gruff voice as he brought the milk down. “Sara was really horny last night.”

“No need for details.” Loki answered as he looked back on his book, not really focusing on it.

The big muscular man put the milk back before walking with a slight limp around Loki to go back up. “I might have pulled a muscle.”

Loki sighed with his eyes closed. “Maybe you should train more.”

“Wouldn't help.” Thor called as he walked up the stairs. “Sex uses different muscles than sports.”

“Ugh.” Loki wrinkled his nose.

Sara. The new girlfriend Thor had.

He didn't know much about Thor's dating life but things were looking serious with Sara. A big breasted, slim waistline, long black hair and big brown eyes. She were a bombshell, at least from what he had seen of her in passing. Not to mention Thor were screwing her so fast and often that bunnies could be jealous.

Thundering steps down the stairs drew his attention as Thor half jogged to the front door.

“Going out?” Loki asked as he felt his heart flip a beat.

“Yeah.” Thor simply said. “Bye.”

And the door closed their conversation.

Loki really didn't know why Thor seemed to avoid him but he guessed that it could have been worse.

 

* * *

 

Loki walked across the pawned path leading to Valhalla High. A school he supposedly attended before his attack, but he couldn't remember anything. The only proof he had was that when he opened some of his books he already knew them, but he had no idea about the layouts about the school.

Not to mention that people were watching him ever since he returned to school by Thor's side. It was making him uncomfortable and nervous to be at the center of attention. Still, people didn't really talk to him.

From what he gathered, he had no friends and the only thing he really did in life was study and read. He was a regular in the library, no lunch buddies and a total social reject.

As he thought several times, his current life wasn't so bad. He lived with a generous family who cared for his well being, he went to a school that were out of his social capabilities, he was smart and had a bright future ahead of him.

So why did he feel so out of place?

 

* * *

 

Thor walked with long, fast steps until he were out of sight from his house. Then, and only then, did he stop and sink down on his knees. With his head bowed, Thor took a deep breath and tried to calm his shaking nerves.

Every day was the same.

Every single day he had to face Loki without being able to touch or hold him like he longed to.

His heart still raced when he saw the dark haired man and he wanted nothing more than to seal those tempting lips with his own.

But that was forbidden now, out of his reach. They could never have any other kind of relationship other than family bonds.

He hated it. He hated the world. He hated his father.

And he still loved Loki.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

~ Chapter 2 ~

The yard was full of students heading home but not a single person, other than him, was in the classroom. The spacey room felt still and calm despite having been used for the day and aired out not long ago. Loki felt a sense of familiarity in the classroom as he sat by the window looking out.

He had been walking down the hallway on his way home when his eyes suddenly focused in on the door, like it was whispering to him some kind of secret. Before he knew it, he had entered and sat down by the window.

Looking around slowly, he saw nothing that indicated any connection to this room to him. It was just like any other school room he had seen so far. Absolutely no hint why he was drawn to this place.

Only when he drew his fingers over the smooth surface he felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest.

 

* * *

 

“Won't your family be home?” Sara asked as Thor lead her up to his front door.

“Nope. Dad is almost never home, mom is out for the evening and Loki is never home before night.” he unlocked the door and stepped inside with Sara close behind him.

As soon as the door closed, he drew her up against him and crushed their lips together. With closed eyes, he let his hands wander up from her waist and over her back to mingle in her black hair that touched just below her shoulders. In response, she wrapped her hands around Thor's broad shoulders before they began to walk backward toward the stair case.

But they didn't make it up before Sara unbuckled Thor's pants and he inched up her short skirt to her waist. With eager and hasty hands it took only a minute before Sara mounted Thor who sat on one of the first steps. It was hot and messy.

Thor growled as he came deep inside her and she held on as she felt his hot seed deep inside.

“Oh crap.” Thor exclaimed when he came back. “I forgot the condom.”

“Don't worry.” Sara said before kissing Thor. “I'm on the pill and besides...” she shrugged one shoulder with a lop sided smile. “I will have my period any day now so it's safe.”

“It is, hm?” Thor kissed her back. “Then you don't have any objection on taking this upstairs where I might pleasure you until you scream my name.”

“Don't I always?” They shifted and with Thor still inside her they walked upstairs. Sara moaned with every step because it felt so good when he rubbed inside her.

When Thor kicked open his door he didn't bother to close it because no one would be home for hours. As regretfully as it was, he had to pull out when he dropped her on his bed. Sara giggled as she bounced on it before they both started to pull off their clothes and throw them on the floor.

Once more, it didn't take long before Thor were between her legs and taking her to new heights with each thrust. With one hand he cupped one of her tits while the other held up one of her legs to help him go deeper.

And Sara didn't disappoint him either with her loud voice. She were rather vocal and it helped to spur him on. Sweat ran down his neck as he could feel the walls around his manhood tighten until she let out the scream that let him know she had come.

“Turn around.” he whispered to her.

With her on her stomach, he parted her legs and inserted himself once more.

They both let out moans of pleasure as Thor leaned forward and put his hands beside her head and thrust into her with slow movements.

He saw the pale back and the black hair and it was all he needed. With one hand for support he pulled out, earning a whine of disappointment before he placed it against her ass and pushed inside.

It was far tighter and he couldn't stop his eyes from closing. When he opened them again, someone else were under him. Slim pale back and short dark hair, a voice moaning his name as he fucked the one beneath him.

After that he lost track all he could focus on were the person in his fantasy that he were making love to.

Close to the end, he threw back his head as the familiar feeling rushed up his shaft and he climaxed in her tight ass. He smelled the scent of fresh shampoo under his nose and for a moment he was back when it all mattered, but when he looked at the face it was brown eyes and not green ones who met his gaze.

“That was amazing.” said Sara amazed, “I never knew anal sex was so good.”

“Yeah.” Thor tried to gather his thoughts with a smile. “That's because you are simply amazing, baby.”

 

* * *

 

Nearly an hour later, they were kissing good bye at the front door. Sara sighed disappointed because she had to leave.

“See you tomorrow, baby.” Thor said gently.

“Yes. Tomorrow.” she responded before she walked away with a final kiss.

Thor sighed before he closed the door and saw that she had forgotten her panties by the stairs where she took them off. Or had she? He bent down and picked them up before walking up to his room. Dressed only in pants he felt satisfied and calm. He still reeked of sex and felt like on the top of the world.

But it lasted only until he saw with shocking reality that the door to Loki's room, who was at the end of the hall, was closed. It was a sign when Loki was home, otherwise it stood open or at least ajar.

It was like ever single drop of blood in his body left him. His world zoomed in on the door and he then became acutely aware of his own door which had been wide open ever since he brought Sara home.

Loki would have walked by and seen them. Without a doubt. If he didn't see them he would have heard them because they were not exactly quiet.

Forcing himself not to think too much about it, he walked into his own room and closed the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Inside his room, Loki lay on his bed with his hands behind his head.

He tried not to think about it but he couldn't keep his mind from what he had heard and seen since he came home.

As soon as he opened the door, he had heard that his brother and his girlfriend having sex. The panties by the stairs were also a good indicator of what was going on. On tip toes he had walked up the stairs to get to his room, but his plan were ruined when he saw Thor's door was open.

Doubting that he would get by it without being seen, he had done his best not to look, but as soon as he could get a clear look inside his eyes had turned against his will and he had seen them. It froze him in place for a moment and all he could do was stare at the couple having sex.

Shaken by what he saw, or that he didn't even feel repulsed by it, Loki walked to his room and closed the door silently.

His problem now was that the image was burned into his mind. To make it worse, his mind was focusing in on the details and it made him nervous and slightly disgusted with himself that he found the person who should be his brother, a person related by blood no less, was making him sexually curious.

He should not be curious of his brother while the other had sex. He should not think about the way Thor's shaft looked like when he fucked his girlfriend. He shouldn't focus on Thor's face of ecstasy.

But he had. He could remember it like he was watching it right now.

“Oh, God.” he whimpered, rolled to the side. “This is so sick.”

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

~ Chapter 3 ~

Two weeks later, Frigga took them out for dinner feeling that they should spend more time together. What should have been a relaxed family dinner turned into a nightmare.

“How are school coming along?” Frigga asked after they had ordered.

“Like normal.” Thor said dismissively.

“Good.” Loki answered in a reserved voice.

“Wait.” Thor leaned forward so Loki couldn't look away. “No one is being rude to you right?” his temper warning the others.

“No. No!” Loki defended himself. “Everything is fine. As much as it could be. It's just weird because I can't remember anything about anyone.” He leaned backward and tried to shrug his shoulder. “It gets lonely.”

Like he had been slapped, Thor leaned back with a mild 'oh'.

“How are things going with Sara?” Loki asked to change the conversation.

“Good.” Thor reached to take a sip from his water. “She's having her period now so she's a little testy.”

“It comes with us.” Frigga said understandingly. “Just be patient and you will survive.” she smiled at her oldest.

“I know.” Thor leaned back and did his best to relax and kept small talking with his family. But he could feel that he wanted to focus on Loki the most so he forced himself to keep a distance.

When their food came, he kept himself busy with eating more than talking, carefully listening to the others conversation.

However, he nearly chocked when something came up.

“I don't know if it's important but I seem to end up in the same classroom every afternoon.”

Thor coughed to clear his throat, earning a look from them both.

“Do you know something? Why I feel so drawn to that place?” Loki couldn't hide his hopes.

He hit his fist against his chest to clear away anything that might linger. “No.” his voice came out strained, but he managed to put it down to the choking.

For all intent and secret hopes Loki had of learning something new about himself, he was disappointed when Thor denied knowing anything.

“Why?” he finally asked after a short silence.

“Why what?” Thor repeated.

“Why do you avoid me?”

“I don't avoid you.”

“Yes you do. You might talk to me but its not for long or you just walk away.”

“You are just imagining it. I do not avoid you.” Thor denied.

“Yes you are. Just like now you won't talk to me. As soon as we go to school you run off to your friends. We barely walk home together, so you wouldn't know if something were bothering me. You try to act like a brother but you are doing a shitty job about it.”

Thor slammed his hands down the table, making their plates jump, and glared right into Loki's eyes.

“I don't want to hear that from a coward.” he hissed before walking out the restaurant.

Loki sat baffled at Thor's words, more than ever sure that his brother knew something about him other than he were letting on.

“He didn't mean it.” He snapped to look at his mother who looked like she were about to cry. “He's just going through something so please don't be angry with him.” she almost pleaded with him.

He might not know many things about their family, but there were one thing he knew and that was not to upset his mother.

With a forced smile he said calmly, “I won't.”

When Frigga turned to ask for their bill, Loki looked out the window but Thor was already gone.

 

* * *

 

It was dark when the door to Loki's room opened and awoke him from his sleep. Without moving he laid still to see what would happen, not sure who had entered his room.

Soft steps lead to his bed side and he felt thankful that he lay facing the wall.

For some precious minutes, he felt his heart beat in his throat and he felt scared about what would happen. The subtle smell of alcohol reached his nose and that only made it worse.

When the intruder sat down on his bed, he felt a hand stroke his hair before the familiar voice came.

“I'm sorry.”

Thor. It was Thor.

Loki wasn't sure if it were better or worse.

His brother stayed with him for a few minutes and during that time he said nothing but soft apologizes in a torn up voice that begged for forgiveness.

 

* * *

 

Thor sat at the kitchen table with his throbbing head in his hands.

“Care to explain where you were last night?”

He groaned at his mother's voice tearing through his head. Just what he wanted.

“Not really.” he muttered.

Taking the time to watch him carefully, Frigga walked over to the chair on the opposite side and sat down carefully. She folded her hands in front of her.

“What is happening to you?” her concern radiating from her voice like a horn.

All Thor could do was laugh humorlessly. “What's happening to me? I though you if any would understand.”

“No I don't. I don't recognize you at all.” she leaned forward. “Talk to me.” she said softly.

“Talk? Isn't that a little too late? You've destroyed everything and now you want to talk?” anger dripped from his words and they came out harsh.

“Thor, please-”

“Please what?” he glared at her through his hang-over. “Do you want me to act like I used to? To follow my heart?” there were nothing left of Thor's kind nature in that moment. “Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me? You've made me into a sick bastard who lusts after his own brother. I can't trust me own heart anymore because all I can think about is _him_ and all the things I _want to do_ to him. And when I'm trying to move on, to have something of a normal life, you think something is wrong with me.” he stood up, put his palms on the table and leaned forward into Frigga's personal space. “I love him so much but you've made sure that I can never have him. This life is no better than torture and you are the one who sent me to this hell.” he straightened his back and walked away.

Left alone was Frigga who felt her heart break. As best as she tried, she couldn't hold back her tears as she heard a door slam shut on the upper level.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, my Thorki stories are being beta read. Please send your thanks to Suiside for his work from now on forward to remove my annoying mistakes.

~ Chapter 4 ~

The next time he came home, he was so drunk that he couldn't even walk. He crashed through the front door and he laughed like a lunatic. No one came so he guessed somewhere in his mind that he wouldn't need to explain this tomorrow.

He knocked over a vase as he tried to stand up and staggered toward the stairs and walked up, swaying on his feet and he almost fell down several times. It only made him giggle.

Crashing onto his bed, he laughed so loud that he didn't care if anyone heard him.

Rolling over, he closed his eyes and tried to relax and to forget everything.

But when he felt a hand on his upper arm, he turned his head to see Loki standing over him.

A chuckle rumbled through him. “Come to torture me again?” he asked without really thinking or caring what he said. He were too far gone in his drunken state to care anymore what he did or said.

“I love you, you know.” he continued without fail. “I love you so much it hurts.” he reached up and caressed the face in his eyes. “I know I have to give up _AND_ I've tried. But every time I look at you I fall in love with you again.” Thor let his hand fall to the bed next to him. “I don't know what to do anymore.”

Loki stared down at him without saying anything.

Thor watched the figure in front of him, knowing that this was a dream from his drunken mind. There were no way Loki would come into his room after the way he treated him. He was really a scum and the knowledge only fit into the rest of his miserable life.

He simply gave up on everything in that moment. He would never be able to escape this nightmare.

He sat up and focused on the one who haunted his life and heart.

“Do you still love me?” he asked in a fragile voice.

Loki looked taken back just like he didn't know what to say.

“I don't care if you don't love me anymore, just don't leave me.” Thor sobbed. “Please don't leave me.”

Strong arms wrapped around him and it surprised him.

“I'm here.” Loki's soft voice whispered into his ear and it brought tears to Thor's eyes. His sobs grew in strength as he tenderly and carefully placed his arms around his brother. Afraid that this dream would disappear and he would wake up to a reality he no longer wanted.

Even if it was a dream, it was far better than anything he could have hoped for. He didn't need anything else.

 

* * *

 

Loki didn't know what he woke up to first, but when he opened his eyes he saw his brother sitting by the headboard with his head in his folded arms, crying. It was not soft crying but the heart wrenching kind that made the bigger male tremble.

He pushed himself up and didn't stop the cover from falling down to his waist, exposing his pale skin and the blushing marks over it.

“Thor?” he asked softly, making the other flinch.

“ _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._ ”

“Thor.” he reached for Thor but the blond man pulled away like he was afraid of his touch.

“ _I'm a monster. Oh, God what have I done. I'm so sorry.”_

“Please Thor.” Loki grew worried because he couldn't reach his brother. “Listen to me.”

“ _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-”_

“THOR!”

He flinched and became quiet.

“Thor, please, look at me.”

It took several minutes before Thor could even raise his head and look at the other and when he did his eyes was red and puffy from his crying. His lower lip trembled and he felt so worthless and disgusting with himself that he just wanted to disappear.

Last night had been everything he needed, but he had thought it to be a dream. When he woke up and saw Loki next to him, with the evidence on his skin, it was like the world opened up under him. He didn't need to remember everything to know what he had done. It was all there right in front of him.

“Thor,” a hand was placed on his elbow. “don't blame yourself for what happened between us. It-”

“Why not?” his voice shook. “I took advantage of you in my drunken stupidity. There's no-”

“Thor.” he took the others face in his hands. “I've struggled to understand things. Why I never thought of you as a brother. Why I must be adopted in the public eyes. Why I felt so out of place here. Why do I not feel any connection to this house? And most importantly, why I feel such unrest around you. I didn't understand your behavior toward me. Sometimes you were so kind and caring, other times you were so distant that I didn't know you. Some of the things you said last night convinced me that there is more to us than I've been told. So much more. Listen Thor,” he shifted to sit next to Thor and still held onto him. “What happened last night, between us, it might not have been what either of us planned but after your first kiss I didn't want to run away. I felt at peace for the first time since I woke up in the hospital. Will you tell me what it is I am missing? It clearly is hurting you and I don't think it's fair that you are the only one who has to carry whatever burden you carry.”

However much Loki meant his words, he had to convince Thor for a few more minutes before the other started to talk.

It took one hour. One hour for Thor to tell Loki everything about their past. Their meeting, their first kiss, their love. As well as Loki's true heritage and the attack by Laufey to him waking up with no memories.

To Thor, it felt all like a life time of events but in the end it only took an hour to tell it all.

Much to his relief, Loki sat quietly with only a few questions through the whole thing. He could see that the truth shook Loki as much as it had him knowing it all right from the start and he wanted to comfort his lover, but he wouldn't allow himself that.

He had destroyed everything and had no right anymore.

“So we were in love?”

“Very much.”

“And we are real half-brothers?”

“Yes.”

Loki tried to sort through all his questions because to be honest. He had more than he could count.

His mouth opened and closed slightly before the question came out, “What about Sara?”

“What about her?”

“Do you... love her?”

“No.” it was said with dead finality. “She's just a substitute.”

“So... the only reason you're with her was because-”

“Yes. All right.” Thor lowered his head in shame. “I was going crazy because you were so close and I couldn't touch you so I found someone to take my feelings out on. I'm a real lowlife.” he confessed with disgust for himself dripping from every words.

Silence followed his words and Thor were sure that Loki would walk out on him. Who in their right mind would ever want to be with him. Everything he did got screwed.

He truly was his father's child.

“I think I might love you too.”

“What?” he whispered looking at Loki, but the other wasn't looking at him.

“I'm saying...” Loki looked up and met his eyes. “that my feelings for you are just as complicated as yours. I can't begin to imagine how it was for you but I can't think of you as a brother. My heart aches for so much more. I want you.”

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

~ Chapter 5 ~

“You love me?” Thor looked uncertain but somewhere in his heart he felt a glimmer of hope.

“Yes.” Loki answered calmly. “At least I think the feeling that makes my heart beat every time I see you is love.” he sat back to give Thor some space. “You are not alone.”

Thor's head was heavy from his tears so he didn't really feel connected to what was happening. He sat there on the bed and tried to sort his head out but every time he came up blank.

Finally Loki had some mercy on him. He cupped his brother's face and kissed him softly. It wasn't much but considering the situation it was more than enough to get a reaction.

Hesitatingly, Thor slowly responded and felt how all his stress and worries disappeared.

When Loki pulled back he was stunned to see new tears fall from Thor's face.

“Don't cry.” he whispered. “Please.” his thumb brushing against one eye.

“I've done some horrible things.” Thor confessed in a quiet voice. “I don't deserve this.”

“Oh, hush.” Loki shushed him. “Don't talk like that.”

“But it's true. And what will we do from now on? We are still brothers. It's still wrong on so many levels that if anyone finds out who knows what will happen to us.”

“At least one of us is not a sister.” Loki answered flippantly.

It took Thor by surprise but he did actually consider it for a moment. “I- well-- true. I think that I would still have loved you if you were a woman.”

“But I'm not.” Loki said as he felt he was getting through to Thor. “There's so many things we don't know yet. We will take it one step at the time and see where this takes us. Just the two of us.” his hands went down to fold over Thor's. “Together.”

He nodded as he dared to smile. “Just tell me what do to.”

“No, Thor.” Loki pulled back. “You have to make up yourself what you need to do.”

 

* * *

 

“ _You're breaking up with me?_ ”

“I'm sorry.” Thor realized he said that on a regular basis.

Sara look at him up and down. “Why? What have I done?”

“You haven't done anything. You've been wonderful and more than I could have hoped for. That's why I think you deserve more than I can give you. I-- I haven't been completely honest with you.”

“If this is 'it's not you but me' then stow it.” Sara hissed. She had been so sure that they were going good that this was a shock.

“Please listen to me.” Thor asked of her. Her brown eyes settled down from the anger she felt and waited for him to continue. “When I met you I was in a horrible place. I was forced to leave someone I really loved and I didn't know what to do. As corny as this is going to sound, you saved me from myself. You made me feel loved and I loved you too as much as I could. Every moment we shared is really precious to me.”

“So what changed?” Sara took a step closer, trying to stay calm. “If what we had was so good then what changed?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I got another chance.” Thor confessed. He would never say Loki's name but he could at least confess this much. “I will not lie to you. Things are still complicated and we are not sure where everything will lead us. There are so many things that are against us that we might have to consider running away.”

“Must be a pretty amazing girl.”

“Yeah.” Thor smiled brilliantly thinking about Loki. “To say the least.”

The reaction took Sara by surprise and a moment to collect her thoughts but she knew then that she had no chance. She had noticed when she first approached him that he was not the happy man she had seen from a distance but she had hoped that she could change that. She had thought she had but maybe she had just been fooling herself.

“Well...” she fidgeted restlessly. “this is awkward.”

“I'm sorry.”

She looked at him with a strange look on her face. “You know... you say that word too often. Answer me this: did you tell your girl that I'm your girlfriend?”

“Yes.” Thor said. “She knows.”

“Did you apologize to her too?”

“Yes.” he shrugged one shoulder. “Like a parrot.”

“Then it's good.” Sara looked down at the ground with a sad face. “Well,” she raised it to look at her ex. “I guess this means the end.” she swallowed hard.

What she didn't expect was the arms enfolding her in a hug.

“Thank you. For everything. You are a beautiful and amazing woman who will one day make a guy really, really happy. I'm sorry that it couldn't be me.”

Sara laughed. “Stop saying that.” they stepped back and still held on to each others arms. “Just be happy so that I won't regret giving you up.”

Feeling his heart much lighter Thor smiled at Sara.

“If you ever need anything, just contact me. I will always be there for you.”

They shared some light jokes about each other before Sara walked away, leaving Thor to himself and him feeling better. He could finally see a path.

 

* * *

 

“Is that so.” Loki said as the door opened and a few seconds later walked Thor into the living room. “Welcome home.” he greeted as he normally as he could. Frigga sitting next to him.

“I'm back.” Thor said before he shifted his eyes to their mother. They exchanged some words before he walked up to his room.

Loki continued his talk with Frigga for a while longer before she had to go grocery shopping.

As soon as the door closed behind her and Loki watched her leave the drive way, he ran upstairs and went right to Thor's room. No longer taking any risks, Thor had pulled the curtain over his window and the door closed behind Loki before they locked in a passionate and desperate kiss.

To Loki it was all so new and unfamiliar, but for Thor it brought back memories of their first fumbling time together.

“How did it go?” Loki asked between kisses.

Thor knew that if they continued he wouldn't be able to answer so, with as much self-control as he could muster, he pulled away from his brother and held him at arms length.

“It's over.” he felt proud of himself. “Sara and I have stopped seeing each other.”

“Good.” Loki leaned forward so fast and stole a kiss that Thor couldn't stop him. “I don't want to share.”

“Me neither.” Thor growled possessively.

“Thor,” he noticed the sudden change in Loki's voice and it made him worried. “Something is not right.”

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

~ Chapter 6 ~

”What do you mean 'not right'?” Thor asked questioningly, his brow drawn together.

Loki didn't say anything at first before he lead Thor to the bed where they sat down, holding each others hands. He wasn't sure where to start but he knew he somehow owed Thor the truth of what he had found out.

”When I talked to mother.” he pretended not to notice Thor's flinch at his use of name for Frigga. ”I asked her a few things. Some details about me and father.” he added the last part like an afterthought. ”I just can't help but think that everything doesn't add up.”

”About what?” he was officially confused now.

The younger man opened his mouth and looked down at their joined hands before he tried to form what was in his mind into words. “Odin had an affair with my mother, right?”

“Yes.” Thor confirmed.

“My mother told Odin that she was pregnant about one month after they broke up.” Thor nodded. “And it's two months between us?” Once more Thor nodded. “Don't you see?” Loki asked and only left Thor confused. “It doesn't add up. All right.” Loki licked his lips before he continued.

“Frigga said that she told Odin she was pregnant in her first month. She suffered bad morning sickness so she discovered early they would have you. Odin broke up with my mother soon after he found out. My mother came back one month later and said she was pregnant and I was born two months after you. But nowhere in my birth record does it say that I was premature _or_ over-due. A hospital wouldn't miss that fact because it can be crucial for the infant. If I was conceived shortly before they broke up, then I would only be one month younger than you or if we were sired around the same time then we should only be days apart. In an extreme case, if I were conceived before you then I would be grossly over-due. But I was born two months after you. That doesn't add up no matter how you twist or turn it.”

“True.” Thor did his best to add the numbers up in his head and it really didn't make sense. “But if that is true then that would mean-” he couldn't say it. Not after having gone through the last few months only to be proven it was meaningless.

Loki nodded as he let his thumb caress Thor's palm. “Someone has lied. I may not be your real brother.”

“What should we do?” Thor asked heavily. As much as he felt a slimmer of hope in his heart he couldn't push away the feeling of betrayal and angst. No matter if Loki was his half-brother or not his feelings wouldn't change. He just wanted the secrets to end.

“I want to compare our DNA.” Loki said with certainty. “If we are brothers then there will be a trace of similarity in us, even for half-brothers. Since we can't go to a public clinic I thought we could use our school. There are some that excels in biology that might be more than willing in doing the tests. We can ask them to start with us.”

“I think we should take along something from father.” Thor said. “If something doesn't come up between us we can have you compared to father and see if he really is your father or not.” Feeling the seriousness of the situation fall over them, Thor rested his head against Loki's shoulder. “When will all of this end?” he sighed tiredly.

“I don't know.” confessed Loki. “But we will take one step at the time. We might only have three more months in school but let's use it to the limit.”

Not really up to talk anymore, Loki shifted so that he could capture Thor's lips with his. They moaned into the kiss before one replaced another and before long they lay on the bed clinging to each other.

* * *

 

Thor groaned as he held onto the headboard until his knuckles turned white. His head rested against the pillow as the rest of his body strained to keep up the rhythm. Sweat spilled down his muscles as his mind could only focus on the amazing thing happening.

Straddling his hips, Loki supported himself with his knees and hands as he rose and impaled himself on his brother's hard shaft. He still felt a tingle of pain in his backside but the pleasure that came from their lovemaking was overruling it and leaving him breathless.

Their first time together last night had been similar in that while he hadn't been prepared for the full extent Thor went with him, it was still rocking his world as he felt himself being stretched and filled in a way he never knew possible.

But it wasn't enough. He knew he had Thor holding on dearly and he felt suddenly naughty to tease his lover even more.

Leaning forward he let his hands rest beside Thor's head until only a few inches separated them. Moaning to capture the others attention, he let all the pleasure his body felt be translated onto his face.

“You are so big.” he moaned. “So hard. Oh, God. I can feel you so deep inside. Please don't stop. Oh. So good. So good. Hard and big.” he arched his back and tensed his muscles to draw a groan from Thor. “Please.” he begged. “Please....brother.”

As taboo as the word was to them, it went straight through Thor who felt a forbidden spike of desire race through him. His breath hitched as he stared up into the lustful face.

“Brother,” Loki gasped. “don't be so mean. Give it to me. Make me feel you. Take me. Harder. _Harder._ Fuck me.” he closed his eyes and groaned deeply. “Fuck me. Fuck me, brother. Harder. Faster. So big. So thick. So hard. Oh, Gods right there.” he let his head roll back so that his throat was exposed. “Fuck me. _Fuck me_.”

Unable to restrain himself anymore, Thor let go of the headboard and grabbed Loki's body before rolling them over where he could grind his brother down into the mattress. Loki's legs locked around his and while the hard shaft between them begged for attention, he focused on granting Loki's wish.

He increased the pace until neither of them could tell the difference when Thor was out or in. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor and let out a series of groans that sounded like 'please', 'yes', 'harder', 'brother', and 'ah'.

The bed under them creaked from their activity and while neither thought about it, it was lucky no one else was in the house.

Thor felt his balls pull up and knew his climax was imminent. His mouth latched onto Loki's neck and his teeth bit down hard as he came, twitching and jerking as he spilled his seed inside Loki's body.

It took Thor a few moments of deep breaths to realize Loki hadn't come with him and that the other was jerking off under him to reach his completion also.

Brushing away the hand, Thor picked up a pace that he knew Loki liked and while he was still inside Loki's body, growing soft and sticky from his mess, he guided his lover to the edge and over it. Semen spilled over his fingers in a few pearly drops as Loki arched his whole body under him. He slowed his hand until he was just holding the limp piece of flesh. He let the other time to focus before he captured Loki's lips with his own. When he moved, he slipped out from Loki's body and lay to rest next to his partner. His dirty fingers began to draw patterns on the pale skin as they just basked in the aftermath.

No words were needed between them.

* * *

 

Sometime later, after they had cleaned up after their little play time, Loki went into Frigga and Odin's bedroom in search for some DNA. He knew he needed to be quick and not leave anything behind, how would he explain him wandering around others bedrooms without being invited.

He looked around for any brushes or combs that might belong to Odin but found only a feminine brush with light brown hair in it. Next he checked the bed. More precise the pillow because there was no other place that had more strands than a pillow. He turned the white pillow over and to his joy, he found a couple strands. Picking up them he pulled out a small plastic bag that he had borrowed from the kitchen, one of those extra small ones that were made for spices or similar things. Once he had what he wanted he closed it and went back to Thor's bedroom.

Combing his fingers through the blond hair, he came out with three strands. Doing the same with those he marked the little bag 'B' while Odin's was 'A'. He brought out the last one and put some of his own short curly hair inside before marking it 'C'.

Loki made sure he put them away securely in his own bag before he went back to bed with Thor who wrapped his arms around him.

They still had an hour before Frigga was home and they would make the most of it.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

~ Chapter 7 ~

“You want me to compare these DNA's?” the shorter student asked as he eyed the 'C' bag in front of his eyes. “Why?” there wasn't really any interest in the question but more routine.

“It's for my finishing thesis, for that I need to know if DNA is a factor or just irrelevant. And I need an expert's knowledge to see if there's any relation between subject 'A', 'B', or 'C'.”

“I see.” the student looked at Loki with a prying eye. “And whose DNA is this if I might ask?”

Loki played the part of reluctant confession. “My parents and I.” he did his best in faking fake indifference. “My real parents.”

When he saw the light in the students eyes he knew he had caught him.

“I won't say who is who but I need to know the relations between these three samples and if one is more dominant in one of them.”

The other student put the samples down on his table and smiled gleefully. “Leave it to me.”

 

* * *

 

Once Loki walked through the hall he felt like time were ticking him by. There was so much going through his head that moment.

His whole situation for the past months could be described as confusing and stressful. Now he was in a romantic relationship with his half-brother. Or were they half-brothers? Probably not and that left so much more to be considered. How much more was a lie? How much of his own history was a lie?

He also knew that there was much more between him and Thor than the other wanted to admit, but he didn't push to get the answer. If Thor wanted to tell him then he would and if he remembered on his own then it was even better.

At the first thought of Thor he felt his heart flutter and grow warm. His memory of his brother's tender touch as they lay on his bed. The kisses trailing down his neck and shoulder. Skin against skin. The sound of gasping breaths as they brought out pleasure from each other.

It was so wrong and yet so right that he couldn't even think to stop their behavior. If anyone found out now before they knew the truth then it wouldn't go well. They were taking a risk with everyone in their family for just being together right now.

They had to play their cards right unless they wanted to disgrace their family.

“Loki.”

He turned around to watch Thor come walking toward him. His friends in the background looked on as they whispered among themselves.

“Hey.” Thor said with a goofy smile. “Where you going?”

“To the library. I just finished my errand so I'm going to do some research on the internet.” He said in a neutral voice, not betraying anything of the want to throw his arms around Thor and kiss him.

“I see.”

He didn't know if it was a talent to appear ignorant or if it came natural to him. Loki was impressed that neither of them gave away anything but what others wanted to see.

“Are you going to be late today?” Thor asked.

“Probably. But I will be back before dark so you don't have to worry.”

“I'll let mother know.” Thor nodded. “See you later.” he raised his hand and waved as he walked back to his friends.

“Right.” Loki raised his own and gave it a shake before lowering it when he caught the glare from Sif.

He knew himself that a look could tell a thousand things, but there were no denying the disdain in those eyes.

 

* * *

 

When Loki got home that day, it was actually beginning to darken and he knew both Frigga and Thor would be on his case for being late, but what little he had found had taken priority. He felt a lump in his throat as he walked up to the front door.

The moment he walked through he heard a bang on the top floor and could only imagine what Thor was doing.

“I'm home.” he called and Frigga came out of the living room with a smile.

“Welcome home. I saved you some dinner if you are hungry.”

Loki took of his jacket and shoes as he smiled in thanks. “I'm just going to go up and put my things away before I eat.”

“You're always so much more proper than Thor.” Frigga said in mock joke. “He usually just drops things where he stands.”

“It's just part of his charm.” Loki said back as part of the joke but it caused Frigga to give him a quick look that made Loki think he had said something wrong.

Frigga smiled quickly to hide her reaction. “Yes. It is.”

Not wanting to add to the awkwardness, Loki walked upstairs and let his brother know they needed to talk. He walked by the half open door and looked inside to find Thor standing guilty by his desk. Loki let himself give him a skeptic look, because he saw the mess behind Thor, before he walked toward his own room.

 

* * *

 

About an hour later, Loki walked to his room. Frigga had kept him company as he ate, believing that no one should eat alone. He had just stepped free of his door when it closed behind him and bathed him in shady darkness. Although he didn't need to turn around to know who it was, he did and watched Thor look at him with a smug face.

With a sensual slowness Thor walked up to Loki and watched him with a smug smirk. He didn't have to say anything to make the other lean closer until their lips closed in a kiss.

“Missed you.” whispered Thor happily.

“Yeah.” Loki agreed as he looked at Thor's face before sighing contently. “It's been a long day.”

“I don't care. Even ten minutes without you is too long.” He took Loki's hands in his and kissed his brother's fingers before turning them around and walking toward Loki's bed and fell on it and pulled Loki close to his chest.

In no time did it take Thor to begin to purr against Loki's hair. The dark haired man could have sworn that he could almost see the tail thumping against the bed.

“In a few days they will probably have the results.” Loki said in no rush. “By then we will have the answers.”

Thor's hand came up to play with Loki's hair. “Good.”

“Thor?”

“Mhm?”

“...nothing.” Loki snuggled closer to Thor and closed his eyes.

There was nothing in this world he wanted more than to let this moment last forever.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

~ Chapter 8 ~

The bell rang and signaled the end of the day. All students alike, red and green ties, walked toward their lockers to get their things to head home. How they all loved Fridays.

Laughter and chatter filled the otherwise quiet halls. Among them walked Thor with a big smile as he laughed at something one of his friends had said. His breakup with Sara had been famous and rumors about the reason why had flied around. There had been so many theories and versions that it made an Encyclopedia look thin.

But because there was no bad blood between them, all gossip had been killed and no one had been disgraced. If anything, the girls made Thor into an even better man than he already was.

Something Loki found hilarious.

“Loki.” an unfamiliar voice called after him as he walked toward the library for another day of searching for his ancestry.

When he turned around he saw a mousy guy with freckles come running to him with a folder in his hand. It took him only a second to recognize him as one of the guys from the biology lab.

He just waited until the guy was finally beside him, gasping for breath as he tried to speak at the same time.

“I come with the results from the tests.” he said in a winded voice, holding forward the thin plastic folder. “Here.”

Loki felt his heart jump in his chest as he took the folder and opened it. Inside lay five papers. One for each DNA with details about their characteristics, one for comparison and last one with the written conclusion of the lab. He flipped through them before he looked at the fifth page and his eyes widen before he caught himself.

“Is this true?” he asked the mousy guy. He didn't show any of the papers because he didn't want anyone seeing them.

The smaller guy nodded. “It was done by our head student so there's no mistake in them.”

It felt like Loki had been submerged in cold water. Everything was falling apart so fast that it felt the ground had swallowed him whole.

“Thank you.” he said in a small voice before closing the folder and walking away with it. He walked right past all student without really noticing them. He even walked by Thor without turning his head and straight out the front doors with the leaving students.

The weather wasn't freezing yet, but since it was a late winter it would probably snow any day. But for Loki he didn't care that he didn't wear his jacket or gotten the rest of his books from his locker. None of it mattered.

He walked for a good kilometer before he even stopped and looked up at the darkening sky.

“Why must you be so cruel?” he asked God.

 

* * *

 

The moment Loki got home he hide in his room. Closed the door and pushed the papers away together with what else he had found through his research in the library.

He didn't want to talk to Thor or anyone else for that matter. It was hard enough that it had been his whole origin and future happiness. Now it had become so much more.

Of course his luck wouldn't allow him peace.

“Loki?” a knock on the door before it opened was all he needed to turn away and bury his face in his pillow.

He heard the door close and soft steps before the bed shifted and a hand stroked his back.

“Loki? What's wrong?” Thor asked carefully.

The younger man muttered something which Thor didn't hear.

“What?”

“The folder.” Loki repeated.

Thor looked around to see which folder he was talking about and the first one that caught his attention was the one laying next to the back pack. He got up and picked it up and opened it to a paper he didn't understand.

“What's this?” he asked in pure confusion.

“The DNA test.” came the pathetic answer.

“Great.” Thor said happily. “What does it say?”

“Go to page four.” Loki still refused to look up.

Thor flipped to the designated page and started to look it over. He saw a lot of things that seemed to compare against each other but he still had no clue what it really meant.

“Um... Loki? I still don't get it.”

“Page five.” it was now pure defeat.

Doing as he was told, Thor turned the page and thanked the Lord that it was just text and started to read.

“The test results shows that subject 'A' and 'B' shares....” he mumbled the rest as he read it in his head. It was all of a scientific mumbo jumbo but there was pieces that made sense to him and he began to compare the places and the information with a growing dread. His eyes went from 'A' to 'C', back again and between. “Loki? This is...” he couldn't finish it.

“Yeah.” he forced himself to sit up and look at his brother. “We are not brothers. There is nothing that binds our blood together.”

Thor sent a silent prayer of thanks upward. “You were 'C' and I 'B'. But what I can't understand it the relation between 'B' and 'A'.”

“There is no relations, Thor. Odin is not your father. I mean, he's the one who raised you but not the one who...” he let the sentences finish for itself.

The blond man backed up so that he could sit on the bed while he stared at the paper. “This got to be wrong. They must have mixed the tests and done something to mess this up. That has to be it.”

“Thor!” Loki wrapped his arms around the others waist. “There is no relation between either of us. We are not brothers, or sons to Odin.”

“No. No!” Thor tried desperately to find something on the paper to tell him otherwise until Loki took it from him.

“It's no use. I've already gone through it and there's no error in it.” he let the paper fall to the ground.

“How is this possible?” Thor was so shocked he could just stare straight at the wall.

Loki sighed as he rested his head against Thor's strong back which seemed really small right now. “The doctors told Odin that he would never have any children of his own. The thought of a son was probably a blessing he was willing to close his eyes to the small facts. At least you know who your mother is.” Loki said defeated.

There was no words Thor could say at the moment to express what went through his mind. Instead, Loki reached under his pillow and pulled out a photo of a woman with dark hair and pale skin.

“That's your mother.” Thor said while looking at it.

“No.” Loki stared sadly at the picture. “It's the picture of a famous actress from the 60's. Fárbauti changed her name _and_ her face to have a different life. What she looked like when she was younger was completely different.” Loki turned the photo over to reveal another one.

“Oh, damn! I-I mean...damn.” in the end that was the only word he could say. The girl in the photo was nowhere near Loki's colors or traits.

“Yeah.” he pulled the photo away and threw it also on the floor. “Even if she changed her face, she can't change her DNA. Whoever or however I came into this world will be anyone's guess.” He couldn't hold back his tears anymore. All his hope on finding his answers had been washed away and left him with even more questions of who he really was.

Needing the comfort more than giving it, Loki once more hugged Thor and tried to take strength from his love. Knowing that them being together without committing incest should have made him happy, but with everything else it was just a small rock in an ocean of water.

He had no idea where to go next.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

~ Chapter 9 ~

“I'm home!” Frigga closed the door behind her and put down her shopping bags. “Is anyone home?”

Not getting an answer she assumed they hadn't heard her. Their shoes were by the door so they should be in. Taking care of her groceries first, she put everything away in the kitchen before she even looked up at the second floor.

“Boys?”

It was so unlike them to not respond that she and she couldn't help but fear what they were doing. Both their doors were closed.

“Thor?” she knocked on her son's door before opening it carefully. Inside was empty so she tried the second door.

The moment she opened it her blood ran cold.

On Loki's bed sat Thor and Loki with their arms around each other, gently kissing each other. There was some papers on the floor but she could care less about them right now.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a shrill, strained voice.

Both Loki and Thor looked up at her voice, but neither showed any sign of fear or shame of being caught. Thor's eyes radiated so much anger at her that she almost took a step backward, but she forced herself to remain where she was.

“How can you do this?” she asked them, “Don't you have any shame?”

Like lightning had struck, Thor jumped up from the bed and glared at his mother with murder in his eyes. “You have no right to ask that, _mother._ ” he snarled.

“How dare you talk to me like that?” Frigga asked in anger and shock.

“Who is my father?” he asked as simple as if he was asking for the weather.

“What are you talking about? You know Odin is your father.” Frigga said it as smoothly as a well oiled machine.

Loki sat silently on the bed, not moving a muscles as he could imagine Thor's face before he bent down and picked up one of the papers and held it crumbling in his fist, practically showing it into Frigga's face.

“That's not what my DNA says.” he growled at her and all color drained from her face.

“Where did you get that?” she asked in a small voice.

“Does it matter?” Thor lowered his hand. “You have been lying to me for my whole life. Just who is my father?”

“It's not what you think.” Frigga raised her hands to calm Thor but he swapped them away like flies.

“NOT WHAT I THINK? You made me believe I was a pervert for being in love with my own brother. Do you have any idea how dirty I felt? How miserable you made my life? And in the end it was all for _nothing_.”

Before Thor could do anything that he would later regret, Loki came up behind him and pulled him back. He held onto Thor's arms and made him look at him as he calmly said words to make Thor stop. At first Thor fought Loki, but slowly calmed down and turned his back to Frigga who was beginning to tear up from the anger her son was portraying toward her.

Loki turned his green eyes on the woman and just watched her before he took mercy on her.

“Enough with all lies.” he said to her, making her look him in the eyes. “For all of us. Let's be honest for once. I love Thor and we are not brothers, so I don't see why we should have to suffer because of others. We want the truth once and for all.” he gathered up the papers and held them forward to Frigga so that she could take them but she didn't as she tried to control herself. “Neither Thor or I am Odin's children.” she looked at him with big eyes. “My mother lied about everything, including that she was my mother, so I don't know who my real parents are. I was taken in by your family because Odin really thought he was my father, he wasn't lying when he talked to me in the hospital. So I have nothing left to tell me where I came from, but you know the answers for Thor. Before anyone gets even more hurt, please, tell us the truth.”

No longer able to hold back the tears she made a futile attempt on wiping them away but new tears continued after them. When she spoke her voice was heavy with tears.

“We wanted a child so bad. Odin more than me. It was his dream. I could only watch as his dream was crushed with every day passing by. I couldn't take it anymore so I made a desperate decision.” she turned her back to them and took a few steps toward the door before suddenly turning around. “I don't know his name or where he lives, but it was an hour that I don't regret because he gave both of us what we wanted; you Thor.”

Thor didn't know what to do. He was turning and turning around in circles, trying desperately to find an answer. Something to say to his mother but he couldn't find anything that didn't begin or end with a curse. The news that he was the result of a one-time fuck was hard to accept. It didn't matter that he was wanted or loved, it didn't make anything better.

He heard his mother call for him but he couldn't talk to her right now. When she tried to take a step closer to him he grabbed the closest object, which was a pillow, and threw it against the wall, nearly hitting the window.

The reaction made Frigga flinch back several steps and made Loki worry about his lover.

“Please leave me alone.” Thor whispered.

“Thor-” Frigga began.

“LEAVE ME ALONE.” he roared.

The silence after was almost like a living being, it made Frigga leave with sobs choking her throat, leaving Loki and Thor alone. The dark haired man watched Thor carefully as he walked around like a trapped lion.

Loki walked slowly closer, in full sight until his hands could caress them upward in a gentle touch. He knew no words would get through so he only leaned his mouth against Thor's shoulder.

“Please, Loki.” whispered Thor as he closed his eyes. “I need to be alone.”

Loki nodded before letting go and walked outside and down to the first floor. There, in the living room did he find Frigga crying on the couch. He felt a tingle of sadness for her. As much as he was a victim of her lies, she too had her reason for doing what she did all those years ago.

There was a lot of things he could say to her, some really condemning, but he didn't. He walked toward the kitchen in order to get himself something to drink when a quiet voice stopped him.

“What should I do next?”

He looked over his shoulder but Frigga still hadn't turned to look at him.

“I don't know.” he said, “Either way it's up to you if you are to tell Odin. Enough lives has been manipulated because of lies and secrets.”

Then he walked into the kitchen and let everyone have time to think. Even he needed to figure out what to do next.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

~ Chapter 10 ~

“Thor, I want you to know I voted for you.” an unnamed student said to the gang as they sat in the cafeteria. The student bore a big grin on his face. “You are the coolest man in school.”

“Thanks.” Thor said with a smile. Although he still had a bad taste in his mouth after yesterday, he kept up a smile for everyone. It was barely half a year left and students were beginning to vote for their candidates for _'The Accomplishment of the Year'_.

His friends clapped him on the shoulder and said how it was his for sure. No one else could even compare to Thor. It was all slick flattery and ass kissing. All because of his name.

Thor smiled at them but there was nothing in it. None of them knew that his whole life was in pieces. There was no one he could believe in anymore. Not even his so called friends. How was he supposed to know that they weren't lying through their teeth?

He couldn't look at his mother anymore because all he felt was disdain and anger. His 'father' still didn't know anything but it was probably just a matter of time when he got home. There was nothing left of their family.

There was nothing left in his heart.

 

* * *

 

Loki watched calmly from his place in the empty classroom the other students leave school. The sun was beginning to go down and cast a reddish glow on everything. Within half an hour it would be completely dark.

He still didn't know why he felt so calm and at home in the classroom but he made it a habit of coming here. It was something about the air in the room that spoke to him, maybe a memory that he couldn't recall. All he knew was that it was important to him.

A flash of blond hair caught his attention and he saw Thor walking with his friends across the yard. For some reason, Loki took a chance and opened the window next to him and shouted.

“THOR!”

The group turned around and Thor's blue eyes sought out the building before they landed on Loki who waved from the classroom.

“What could he want?” Fandral asked as he too saw Loki.

“Who cares.” said Sif before she turned toward the gate. “Let's go.”

The three friends turned to follow but Thor remained where he was, gazing up at Loki who lowered his hand and looked back, waiting. Just from the many times he had seen the lights on in just that classroom he could tell which it was. His mind filled with memories.

“Go ahead, guys. I'll see you tomorrow.” he said before he walked back toward school.

He walked the familiar route until he reached the door of his destination. Like always, there was no lock on it and opened without so much as a single complain. The inside of the room was bathed in the light of the setting sun and at the same desk, in the same chair, like so many months ago, sat Loki.

A book opened in front of him as he turned to look at the new arrival. He smiled softly at Thor as the other made his way to the free chair standing next to the desk Loki was occupying. He pulled it out with ease and sat down without a word.

“Hey.” Loki said gently.

“Hey.” Thor answered.

There was no need to be smart to notice the utter lack of emotion in his voice.

“How are you?” he was genuinely concerned for Thor.

“Good.” There was no luster in Thor's eyes.

Loki leaned forward with his hands hanging over the edge and looked Thor straight in the eyes. “Be honest with me.” it wasn't a demand but a wish from his heart. “Talk to me.”

The urge to look at anything but Loki overcame Thor and he squirmed almost painfully in his seat. “I don't know what there is to say. You know everything.”

“I don't know everything.” Loki cut in. “Unless you tell me I will never know.” he reached for one of Thor's hands and held it in his. “I'm here with you.”

Thor almost reluctantly looked at Loki and before the other could say anything else he leaned over and kissed him.

It was slow and over too quickly. Instead of saying anything he reached out and brought his lover onto his lap where he held him closely and shut his eyes. He could feel the rhythmic beating under his ear and it helped to calm him down.

While he knew he couldn't run forever, he didn't want to deal with anything that was happening in his life. He didn't want to talk aboutit and even if it made him a coward he would take it. Loki could only mend his heart so much before it would collapse again.

Loki adjusted himself before his arms rested comfortably against his body. Fingers started to comb through his hair and across his skin. As much as the gesture was meant to mean to him, he no longer felt anything from Loki's touch.

There was no excitement nor any desire. No anger or sorrow. No lust or love.

Nothing.

All that was left in him was a hole of emptiness.

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later found Thor and Loki back in the house, snuggling together in Thor's bed. The younger of the boys was on the brink of falling asleep as his partner lay close to him.

The moment he felt Loki's body relax completely against his, and the deeper regular breathing, he waited another hour before he pried himself free and stood up. He walked over to the desk and wrote a quick note on the blank paper laying there before he turned around and took one last look at Loki. The peaceful expression had been something he had wished to see on the others face for a long time, both when they first started their relationship and later when everything was taken from them. It had been his only wish.

Now, as he stared down at it, he couldn't connect his emotions with his thoughts.

He knew he should feel so much more, something that should make up his whole world, but there was nothing.

“Farewell.” he whispered before he walked over to the window which he opened and swiftly and quietly jumped out from.

Upon landing on the grass he took a moment to look up at the bright room.

Next he turned around and started to walk.

He walked and walked, never looking back.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

~ Chapter 11 ~

Loki didn't know what it was that woke him up. If it was by himself or the fact that he was actually cold around his shoulders. His first thought was to seek warmth from his lover, but when his search for the other came out fruitless, he was forced to open his eyes and wake up to the reality.

Thor was no where to be seen in the room and the sight of the open window brought no comfort to Loki. The cold night air was chilling against his skin and made him shiver.

_Why was the window open?_ Was the thought that crossed his mind but he couldn't come up with an answer.

There was no sign of Thor in the room so he guessed the older boy was downstairs for some reason.

Not wanting to be alone he pushed himself up from the bed and walked over to the chair by the desk where one of Thor's sweaters hung over the back. Putting it on it fell over his slim body, making him aware of the difference in their body size. He was about to turn around to walk out the door when his eyes caught on something written on the table.

The paper looked like any other paper but his mind was whispering to him that it was somehow important.

He picked it up and his eyes refused at first to understand what was written on it. He saw the three words but he couldn't connect them to any meaning. It was like his mind was refusing in order to protect him from something horrible.

With a deep breath he closed his eyes before he opened them again and read the letter carefully.

_I'm sorry_ _  
Farewell_

There was no mistaking Thor's handwriting and Loki felt his core go cold. A memory of the forlorn look on his lover's face before he had fallen asleep passed through his mind.

It was harsh as it mixed together with the feeling of safety that he always felt in Thor's arms. The duality of his mind made up a scene where Thor wrote the letter before disappearing out the window with the curtains flapping gently against the frame.

His panic started slowly before it took over and changed into a racing fear that took his whole mind hostage. Thor was gone. Thor had left while he was sleeping.

Loki took off out the room without thinking. The note left falling toward the floor in the aftermath.

He tore down the stairs, not stopping at Frigga's confused question, but when he opened the front door and barely took three steps outside did he come crashing into the chest of Odin who caught him with steady hands.

“Whoa.” he exclaimed in surprise. “Take it easy.” he steadied the young man without letting go, feeling that he needed to make sure the other didn't do anything rash. “What's wrong?”

It took Loki a few seconds to realize who was standing in front of him. Then he saw the car over the man's shoulder and realized that a car would help him more than running around barefoot alone.

His fingers clung onto the man who believed to be his father as Frigga came out the door with a worried face.

“I need your help. Please drive me.” he begged as he pushed the man toward his car. “Please.”

Odin was truly confused by the action but his heart felt that the desperation in his son's voice was for some reason. Answers could wait until later. “All right.” he said before he followed Loki toward his silver BMW and jumped in behind the wheel after the young student took the passenger seat.

Odin yelled that he would call later to his wife before he drove out the driveway and headed down the road Loki pointed.

Inside the car Loki looked at the clock and saw that it was around four hours since he fell asleep.

“What's going on?”

He looked at the older man behind the wheel.

“Thor is gone.”

“What?” Odin said shocked. “Why?” he did his best to stay focused and remain on the road.

Biting his lip, Loki was reluctant to be the one to confess everything to the man. He deserved more than a hasty explanation in a wild goose chase. But at the same time he couldn't leave it outside the reason why Thor was gone.

His mind replayed the scene from when he called and waved from the classroom. The look of Thor standing alone in the court yard.

“Some things have happened.” he started while biting the inside of his cheek. “I'm not your son.”

“What? Of course you are.” Odin glanced at him before he took a left turn, both keeping an eye out for Thor.

“No.” Loki really hated being the one telling the older man. “My mom lied to you. She lied to everyone. I had my doubts about my birth record, some things didn't make sense so I checked it out. Sadly, you are not my father.”

“But-” Odin looked carefully at two young men walking by. None of them were Thor. “She told me-”

“I'm not her child either.” Loki threw out as he watched like a hawk while trying to think of places Thor could be. He truly feared the worst. “She took me from someone and passed me on as her own. If she, by any chance, was pregnant with your child at some point it didn't survive in that case. Or maybe she never was and just lived in an illusion. She might have been crazy. Who knows what her reasons were. In any case she stole me and lied. I had my DNA checked.”

“Oh God.” the man moaned.

“Turn right.” Loki suddenly yelled. Odin followed the order and both could feel the G-force before they were clear.

They were silent for a few minutes as Odin tried to gather his voice and thoughts. “Then why-” he had to swallow, not daring to look at the young man. “-why did Thor-?”

“Some other things happened.” he couldn't tell him the rest. There was no way he could do it. “The short story is that Thor is hurt and not thinking clearly. God knows what he will do.”

Odin began to say something when Loki caught sight of the top structure of the bridge leading to their town over a large lake. It clicked something in his mind.

_~ Flashback ~_

_He was sketching the blond hair as his model was talking animated about his childhood._

“ _I love the sea. It always makes me feel calm and safe. My mom always had trouble taking me out of the bath when I was little. She said I looked like a sea creature because I didn't want to get out even when the water was cold.”_

“ _So that's why you were on the swimming team the first term?” he commented as he gazed up at the bright smile._

“ _So you know?” the grin was filled with white teeth. “Did you watch me?”_

“ _No.” his answer got a pout. “But I remember the rumors of the swimming team winning a competition because of someone filling in for one of their regulars. I guess that makes you the substitute.”_

“ _Oh!” Thor said in badly concealed disappointment._

~ End Flashback ~

“The water. Head for the water.” Loki said loudly in the small space.

What had that memory been?

 

* * *

 

It was a clear night and the sound of water was slapping against some of the rocks as he gazed out over the black velvet surface. The night sky reflected against the surface as the lonely sound of a fish broke the silence.

The moon on the lake called out for him.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

~ Chapter 12 ~

_The moon on the lake called out for him._

The first step into the cold water didn't even faze him. It was cold, but nothing like the lonely wind blowing in his heart. His mind whispered to him about all the important people in his life but somehow it rang empty.

His mother. A liar. A whore.

His father. What father? Odin had barely been there for him most of his life and what memories he had was tainted by the knowledge that he was a stranger.

His friends. What friends?

Loki?

Loki.

The name made him pause as he remembered all the things they had been through together. From the first time they had seen each other to this day when he walked out. Violence. Regrets. Love. Closeness. Intimacy. Relationships. Secrecy. Sex. Taboos. And the tender feeling of Loki nudging his nose against his as they rested together.

He wanted back to those moments. He wanted back to when it was all so simple and easy.

 

* * *

 

Loki leaned forward inside the car as he spied over the area with a concentration that could rival a hunting hawk. The blank water surface stretched out as far as the eye could see. Next to him sat Odin, trying to keep his calm as his world had been turned upside down once more. The beams from the front of the car lighted up the area ahead and some of the sides.

Bushes and badly paved roads were all that could be seen.

He didn't want to give up hope. He didn't want to lose Thor. Hardly able to breathe, he kept on looking in some belief that he would see Thor.

The moon in the night was so bright and clear even with the faint clouds trying to block it.

But as the meters ticked by on the car's counter, he felt his chest grow tight as hope seemed to fade with every passing minute.

“STOP!” Loki suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs. “STOP!”

Odin stepped on the break, standing inside the car as it came to a painful halt. Not caring if the car was standing still, Loki jumped out the car and started to run the moment he was standing up.

The sudden rush from sitting to standing made him slightly dizzy, but he pushed it aside as he ran toward the water.

It was freezing cold as his foot passed through the liquid, almost making Loki squeal. It chilled him up to his ankle before his other leg was chilled half way up to his knee. One more step before his arms wrapped around the strong torso of the man already standing knee deep in the water.

“Please don't do it.” Loki pleaded. “Don't.” his voice broke as he buried his face against Thor's shoulder and breathed in his scent to calm himself down. His fingers already feeling the cold of the night, gripped tightly. “Don't leave me.” his voice didn't hold anymore.

Everything broke inside him at that moment. His green eyes filled with tears that rolled heavily and hot down his face, teasing his jaw line before soaking into the fabric of their clothes. Sobs rolled from his lips and his nose began to fill up. All as he was freezing from his knees and down.

The light from the moon silenced everything down until it was just them, standing there in the water up to their knees.

“Don't leave me.” Loki whispered. “Take me with you.”

Cold hands came up to fold over Loki's as Thor's body was wreaked with a shuddering breath. “It hurts.” his hand came up to clutch where his heart was.

While fighting against the cold, Loki managed to talk without letting his teeth shiver. “I know.”

“So bad. I want it to stop.”

“It will. It will get better. I promise. I will be there with you.”

“Thor!”

Hearing his name being called made Thor turn his head around so that he could see the older man standing by the edge of the water. His suit just as pristine as it always was, but there was a look of outer concern and worry plastered on his face. Making the wrinkles seem even deeper around his eyes.

Odin was so close to walking into the water but it was apparent that he was holding himself back.

“Thor.” he called again, his voice painted with everything he was feeling. So many emotions screaming so clearly.

There was nothing that tied them together. There should be nothing between them, but somewhere in his mind the fog that had clouded everything began to clear. Although it was just a tiny spark so far that had been ignited in his heart. The man standing on the river bank was his father.

He had taught Thor how to walk. He had held him in his arm the day he got his first tooth. His first school day, graduation, sports events, Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, sick days, rainy days and his sports days. This man had always been there for him. In one way or another, Thor was starting to remember all the things they had done together. He had thought of this man as his father for 18 years.

“Let's go home.” Loki asked as he couldn't keep his teeth from chattering.

Thor took pity on Loki by nodding his head before allowing himself to be lead back to the bank. With each step their feet brought them closer to the ground until strong hands reached out for them and with force pulled them out of the water with a splash.

Odin wrapped both his arms around the pair huddling close together and hugged them.

“Don't ever do this to me again.” he said to them. “Let's get you home before you get sick.”

And he pulled them toward the car to make sure they didn't linger behind. Odin pushed them into the back seat, pulled off his jacket to wrap it around them, forcing them to sit closer so they could share body heat.

When the old man jumped into behind the wheel, he blazed the heater on before he drove back home.

Loki huddled with Thor, rubbing his hands against the strong muscles, nestling them into Thor's blond hair as he planted a kiss on his cheek. Not caring if Odin saw them or not.

They were not half-brothers anymore.

There was no relation between them at all.

There never had been any.

They were free to love each other.

And right now his heart was over pouring with love for Thor.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

~ Chapter 13 ~

Things had gone fast after they returned home that night Thor's run-away act. Upon returning home, Loki had brought Thor up to his room where they could talk to each other for as long as they needed. Thor confessed to the relationship they had before Laufey assaulted Loki. It was almost overwhelmingly for Loki to learn about it and painful for Thor to confess it to his lover who didn't remember it anymore. But it helped Thor's spirit and heart to get the truth out.

Meanwhile, Odin had gotten an explanation from his beloved wife about her infidelity and Thor's real origin. Something he hadn't wanted to hear once all the pieces had started to fall into place.

After some lengthy – and not always calm – talking, the night came to an end.

When Thor and Loki woke up it was to the knocking on the door and a worn and tired Odin had asked them if they wanted to come with him. To get away from things for a time. Of course Frigga heard him and begged him not to do it. But he had told her, without missing or hesitating, that the boys were still his sons.

“I've had enough of guilt.” he said with every part the man he was. “It all ends now.”

 

* * *

 

And true to his words, things ended after that.

The first thing was Odin and Frigga's marriage. Odin couldn't forgive her betrayal and lying for so many years that he filed for a divorce after three months of thinking about things. Even if the feelings were there, there were some things that couldn't be saved and Odin felt that he had had enough living with lies.

Because Thor and Loki were written as his children, and also of age, they were free to decide where they wanted to live. The older man left his door open for them any time they wanted until they decided on what to do next. He held nothing against them.

Absolutely nothing.

Not even their reignited relationship. Although Thor was known as his son, and Loki was adopted in the public's eye, he no longer saw any wrong with their feelings. They hadn't asked for this to happen. They were complete strangers that had started a relationship and then been forced to become brothers because of the lies of others.

Neither could Frigga find any faults with them, but she was wrought with so much guilt over the truth coming out that Thor and Loki stayed more with Odin than her. Although Frigga lived in the house and Odin rented a four bedroom apartment in central town.

What's more, their last year in Valhalla High was slowly coming to an end. Their classes were closing and pretty soon there was nothing that was left for them there but to hang out or stay around for friends who weren't finished. Since Thor was a athletic major, and already an ace, he could graduate even with all the absence on his record over the last year.

Loki, on the other hand, fought like a beast to graduate with his already earned diploma. Because of all the mess with his 'family life' he couldn't finish his last PhD in time. His time was split between recalling all his previous classes, spending time with Thor, getting on with their lives and studying. Having amnesia on top of that was also tough when it came to some things.

He never fit in even as he started to spend more time with Thor in school. Although they kept their intimacy at bay and only shared touches that seemed friendly, Thor's friend's had a hard time to accept him in their circle.

But it mattered little to Loki since the year was coming to an end.

 

* * *

 

It was the final day before graduation. The school was really quiet, more so than normal because there was only a few teachers left in the many buildings. All students had long since left, all except one.

The pen ran over the paper with a sure hand, adding lines to the drawing. Loki turned his head side way to get a perspective on his work. He continued working on it as he heard the door open and close. He didn't look up even as the footsteps came closer until arms wrapped around his shoulder and a head pressed against his with a deep sigh.

“Hello love.” Loki said gently as he smiled, knowing that it was Thor. He put down the drawing and simply enjoyed his lovers presence.

“Hello.” he sighed once more, taking in the scent of his lover. “Why are you still here?”

“I could say the same to you.” Loki looked over his shoulder.

“To my defense; I did go home earlier but couldn't find you so I put two together and came here.” Thor made a voice that sounded like a hurt puppy. “What are you doing here?”

Loki picked up the paper and looked at it before handing it to Thor with a sheepish smile. “I found this among my stuff and I couldn't go home before I finished this. It felt more calming to work on it here than anywhere else.”

For a moment Thor was dumbfounded. He slowly took the paper and stared at it. His mind filling with memories that had happened almost a year ago. He stared down at the sketched reflection of himself sitting by the window opposite from where he was standing behind Loki. It was a weird feeling to look at himself and how he looked a year ago. No doubt a reflection to how Loki had been in his memories.

It was a memory from a time when things hadn't been complicated. When everything had come down to a few short hours in this classroom. Something that would always be only theirs.

~

“ _Why do you approach me?” asked Loki. A question that snapped Thor's eyes up to his face. “You should know the history I have. Nothing good will come from associating with me.” Loki continued without waiting for a reply._

_So he leaned forward and let their lips touch and it felt as heavenly as he knew it would. Upon contact, Loki gasped lightly before he relaxed into the kiss and slowly joined in. It was innocent and amazing at the same time._

_Thor sighed as he wrapped his arms around Loki's chest and held him close. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on the others throat and was overjoyed with the response he got._

“ _I love you.” whispered Loki before he pulled Thor around and pushed him down into the chair that he had been sitting in for the last few days._

_Thor threw his head back and groaned loudly. His chest rose and fell under the assault of touches and pleasure. “Oh, Gods.” he said. Both of his hands left his thighs and went up to his stomach. Then he let one of his hands sprawl out and down on his body until his thumb and finger framed his manhood and, in some sense, closer to Loki._

_Loki buckled against Thor's thrust as he pumped his own length until he reach climax and brought with him Thor over the edge._

_When they parted, they looked into each others eyes before they closed the distance between them again and this time there were more pressure, kissing until Loki's tongue came out to take a taste and Thor latched onto it immediately._

_~_

With some thought, Thor put the drawing on the desk next to them before he walked around and sank down on his knees next to Loki. His hand came up to run his fingers over the soft face. “I love you more than I can put into words,” his blue eyes were clear as the summer sky as he tried to find the next words to say. “and I can only hope that your memories of the time we had in this room will return. You are beautiful and I want to show you just how much if you would let me.”

Loki's pale hand came down to hold loosely onto Thor's which rested on his thigh. “What do you want to do?”

“Let me make love to you here.”

A dark eyebrow rose high. “Here?”

Thor nodded before he rose on his knees and kissed Loki. “Yes. It might not be the most romantic of ideas that I've gotten, but even if you never remember how we first met and fell in love, I want you to have at least one memory of making love here. Just for you and me.”

Thoughts raced through Loki's mind as he subtly looked around before returning his attention to Thor. It was not a thought that had occurred to him, but the idea did seem kinky. Not to mention that they had done it before. At least according to Thor.

“Promise me one thing.” Loki said in a husky voice.

Thor brought Loki's hand to his lips and kissed it before pressing it against his chest. “Anything.”

Loki let go of Thor and turned in his chair, forcing Thor to adjust to the change and sit back until Loki was leaning forward and his hands resting on Thor's shoulders. “Make me remember this day for the rest of my life.” he smiled.

“As you wish.”

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

~ Chapter 14 ~

The concert hall was buzzing with sound of students and teachers talking to each other. The large wooden stage with polished surface was covering one whole wall with a big black curtain hanging in the back was the center where rows of chairs was set out. Teachers and important guests filled them as the students were left filling in the audience chairs. However, because there were more classes this year, they had to bring in more chairs from outside to fill up the sides and back so that all could sit down.

All were dressed fancy in their formal school uniforms. A formality that had been passed down for ages. The young men were dressed in what could be a relative to the tuxedo. Stainless blazers with the school emblem on the heart area. On the other hand, the girls wore what could be a cousin to evening gowns.

At the front of the lines sat Thor with his friends around him. They were seated in last name order, so that meant Thor was precisely in the middle of the line. He sat with every last part of the manners he had been taught. Still, his charm that appealed and attracted those around him couldn't be hidden. His blond hair was pulled back in a tie at the back of his neck and he was newly shaven to the point where his skin could be called baby smooth. He lived up to the very spirit of the school.

Loki on the other hand was sitting at the edge of the middle rows that could just as easily be forgotten if you wasn't paying attention. He too wore his school uniform without any faults. His hair smoothed back with wax as he sat with his hands clasped in front of him. Even if it felt uncomfortable, Loki kept a neutral face so that he wouldn't embarrass Thor. He didn't talk to anyone, but his heart was whispering to him as he sneaked glances to the back of Thor's golden head.

After today they would be free.

Student after student went up to get their diploma. Teachers were thanked for their dedication and teaching. The school orchestra played and speeches about the future were given.

“And finally, the next student to graduate from Valhalla High's intellectual department is someone that has achieved more than was thought possible. Despite his turbulent last year, he graduates with two PhD's in Anthropology and Social Studies. Loki Odinson.”

The applauds was polite and somewhat appreciating as Loki stepped up on the stage and accepted his two diplomas. The principal shook his hand as he balanced his diploma on his other. Loki stole a glance at the front row and caught Thor's eyes who looked extremely happy for him.

As a gesture for his accomplishments, the principal gestured to the microphone if Loki wanted to say anything.

In a split second, Loki's mind whispered to him to go back to his seat quietly, but another part of him told him otherwise. He took a step forward and waited for the applause to quiet down before he said anything.

“To quote Shakespeare; _The Tempest:_ _**We are such stuff, As dreams are made on; and our little life, Is rounded with a sleep**_.” Loki's eyes rose to take in the whole audience. “Each one of us leaves today with dreams to fulfill and no one; not our past, present or future can stop them. They will continue to live on until we take out last breath and go to our final sleep.”

The end of his last word held so much conviction and belief that it seemed to echo in the air. More applause rose from the students as Loki stepped back, bowed to the other teachers and walked off the stage with his head held high.

As Loki returned to his seat, Thor watched over his shoulder for as long as he could see the other before he turned back to stare straight ahead without seeing anything really. When his eyes focused again, it was to look up at the scene and the many more students being called up. It was a tradition that the most accomplished student in each class to be called up last, so Thor wasn't surprised when his name was called last for his class. The same way Loki had been called. He walked up and accepted his diploma while thanking his teachers and fellow students with a short but standard speech before he returned to his seat. Those around him clasping his shoulder as they gave their congratulations which didn't really do anything for him. Where once upon a time the praise of others would have meant the world to him, it felt like water falling on him. He knew it was raining, but didn't really care.

Then there was a fanfare before the principal walked up to the microphone and coughed once to get everyone's attention.

“It's finally time for the last diploma to be announced, _The Accomplishment of the Year_.” The air grew tense with suspension as they all wanted to hear the winner. “Well,” the old man said with a smile. “I guess it's no surprise about these results since he has captured all our hearts and inspired a generation. Congratulations, Thor Odinson.”

The room exploded in cheers and noise. It was so loud that it was to the point of being painful to the ear. Still, Thor was pushed up toward the stage once more when he didn't move at first. If possible, the sound grew even more intense.

A golden framed diploma was offered to Thor who took it as he stared at it. He had known that he would get it but now as he stood there in the spot light he didn't feel that he deserved it. His mind flashed through the year that had passed. His discoveries, his regrets, his lies, his weakness and among all the chaos and facts he could see the silhouette of someone waiting for him with his hand reached out to him.

His eyes searched the crowd but he couldn't see Loki through the chaos. So when he stepped toward the microphone it took a few minutes before the rest calmed down. Once everyone was in their seats again, Thor could finally see Loki sitting in the crowd, watching him and waiting for him to speak.

“First, I want to say thank you for believing in me for this prize and I feel honored for this moment. But at the same time I know that there's another student present who is more deserving of this than me. He's just as strong as he's kind. He doesn't blend his words to fit into the world and he's not scared to do what's needed even if it will hurt. And without him I wouldn't be standing here today. He saved me from myself and showed me that even the darkest pits has a door for the better. He was there when I needed him. I know that if I call his name he will no doubt kill me later so I won't, but I want to tell him this. Thank you... and I love you.”

Without waiting for anyone to register that this was the end of his speech, Thor walked briskly out from the scene and into the backstage where he took the shortest route to the nearest exist.

Loki sat stunned for a moment as the room exploded once more into noise, but this time it was whispers. The principal knew that he wouldn't be able to contain the crowd for long so he did the traditional ending speech and dismissed the students from school for the last time.

While everyone was celebrating and gossiping about the latest revelation, Loki left quietly without drawing much attention toward himself. He walked to the parking lot and the car waiting for him there.

He saw Thor standing there with a goofy smile on his face. Loki tried to look stern for basically calling them out in front of the whole school but he couldn't control the smile either. He was caught in Thor's laughing arms before his lips was sealed with a kiss. Not caring anymore if anyone saw them they made the most of the kiss before Thor unlocked the car and they jumped in. It barely took them a minute to leave the area before they were heading toward their new home.

A place just for the two of them.

TBC & Concluded In The Next Chapter


	15. Chapter 15

~ Chapter 15 ~

 

5 Years Later

 

The apartment was brightly lit by the morning sun. It was a small 2 bedroom and kitchen apartment with big windows showing the inside garden bellow where families could enjoy a picnic or the playground. It wasn't the fanciest area, but it was what they could afford and what they needed at the moment.

Thor was sitting by their kitchen table, nursing a cold cup of coffee, as he watched Loki walk back and forth nervously. The once barely legal teenager had grown into a young man who looked confident even under the current situation. His hair was cut short just so that it could be formed back over his head and give him a professional look. He was after all, now, a professional counselor. For troubled teenagers and young adults. Mostly he jumped around to different locations in the city, or close to it when the need came up, but he never talked to anyone who he wasn't serious about helping.

He was still young and inexperienced, but he could reach the children he talked to because of his own experience.

No. He didn't remember everything he had lived, but he had had some flashes and read his own private files to get some answers. Those around him had also helped him fill in the gaps. Still, it was only a fraction of what he should remember. However, on second thought, it might be better that he didn't remember everything.

Not his years locked in that room or the abuse and rape Laufey had done to him. It might have destroyed him completely if he had to live with those memories. Maybe they would return some day, maybe they wouldn't, but he would be stronger when they did. He would be able to handle them. Also, he wouldn't be alone when that happened.

In the meantime, he would help as many as he could from their personal hell.

Thor, on the other hand, had not changed much. He was still muscular and his blond hair was slightly longer, so he kept it in tail at the back of his neck. A month after he graduated he had gotten a job as an assistant substitute trainer for a amateur football team. Since then he had become the target of clubs who were looking for a new trainer. Until six months ago, Thor had not answered any of them. He had stayed freelancer and done odd training jobs here and there.

Mostly because he had been considerate to Loki who had been adapting and finding a balance in his new life. They had lived with Odin for almost a year before they finally had enough income for their own place. Not that they didn't have any to begin with.

After finalizing the divorce, Odin and Frigga had sold the house, Odin not wanting to live there anymore and Frigga not able to pay for it anymore. The money from the sale had been split into four parts, one for each of them. In a way it had become consolation money for Thor for the lies, and Loki for getting pulled into it all.

With suddenly more money than they could spend, Loki had made the decision of letting Odin keep his money in a savings account until he felt ready to take it on. He didn't want to spend it all on garbage so he left it to someone until he was at least 25 and knew more about the world and living on his own. Thor had done something similar, only he kept a small part of it in case of emergencies.

Frigga had tried to patch things up with her son, but although Thor started to come around, he couldn't completely forgive her and she left the city to start over somewhere else. She still sent a letter now and then to ease her loneliness.

Odin, on the other hand, had found a new girlfriend. They had meet coincidentally one day while he was heading home, some scumbag had tried to hit her when Odin drove by. He stopped, got out and approached them. After that one thing had lead to another and they became a couple. What was being gossiped about was the age difference between them. Twenty years in-between them, with Odin being the oldest. When he realized things had become serious, he had confessed his secret of being practically sterile. He needed to know if it would be a deal breaker or not.

Much to his relief and surprise, she had been fine with it.

So Odin was now living with his new girlfriend and she got along with Thor and Loki.

With everything falling into place, Loki had taken the last step he felt he needed to make. Finding his real parents.

He wasn't sure what he would gain from trying, or if anything would change. It sure wouldn't change his past or that he didn't remember it. It wouldn't change his relationship with Thor or how they had to fight for it.

Even now, with the world thinking of them as adopted brothers, it was hard to be lovers without the judgment and sometime leers. But they had now been together for five and a half years, at least to Loki's memory, and they were doing great.

“I don't think this was a good idea.” Loki said as he took another turn and walked back the same way he had walked for the last twenty minutes.

Thor calmly followed him with his eyes. “Calm down and let it just be. Whatever happens, happens. You might have some answers today if all goes well.”

“Yes and I would like that. But right now, jumping out of the window sounds like a good idea.”

Another turn.

Without missing anything, Thor sipped at the coffee and made a face before pushing it away. “Love, if they are your parents then you will finally have a family.”

“I already have a family.” Loki pointed a hand at Thor as he turned for another turn.

“And I will always be part of your family, no matter how you want me, but this is something that you were denied over 23 years ago. Let yourself have some hope that something good might actually happen to you.”

“A lot of good things have already happened to me. You. My job. My-” another turn.

“Just give it a rest, Loki.” Thor cut him off. “They will be here any moment so there's nothing you can do.”

“Don't be so sure. I can still-” the door bell went off and Loki looked like a deer in a spot light of an oncoming truck.

Before Loki could bolt, his arm was caught by Thor who gently – but firmly – guided him toward the front door. “Get it over with.” They came to a stop and Loki stood tensely as the bell rang a second time. “I will be here with you all the way.” he finally whispered confidently, reassuring his lover that he wasn't going anywhere.

Loki looked at his lover like he wanted to make sure the other wasn't going anywhere. Thor smiled his sunny smile.

Finally finding courage in the smile, Loki reached out and opened the door while Thor's hand rested against the end of his back, letting him know by touch he wasn't alone.

For a moment there was nothing to be said as identical green eyes stared back at him.

Then he was swept up in an embrace by thin, slender arms. A smaller feminine body pressed up against him as a sob registered to his stunned mind.

It was unfamiliar but so very tender.... and warm embrace.

The End


End file.
